Kinky Friedman's story to be included in Bride of the Golem

Earlier this afternoon, I received the story Kinky Friedman said he would send to Bride of the Golem. I read it and thoroughly enjoyed it. It's funny and charming and a little scary, in other words, a perfect addition to the anthology.

On Kinky Friedman and the best salsa in Britain

I am very pleased to report that comedy-mystery writer and performer Kinky Friedman will be submitting a story to Bride of the Golem. That's right, the author of Road Kill and Armadillos and Old Lace is sending in a story! If you haven't read him yet, you should. He's very entertaining.

In honor of the occasion, and in line with my recent rants about the dearth of good Tex-Mex in London, I am sharing my salsa recipe (which is modeled largely on Wheatsville Food Co-op's Salsa Casera, the best in Austin, Texas). All the ingredients are available at London Waitrose supermarkets.

Needed: 4 large tomatoes, 1 red chilli pepper, 1 heaping spoonful of Mexican Discovery Chipotle Paste, a tablespoon of cumin powder, a teaspoon of salt, three cloves of garlic, 1.5 tablespoons of fresh coriander (cilantro) leaves, the fresh squeezed juice of half of a large orange and the juice of an entire juicy lime (add another half-lime's juice if the first one is dry). Cut the stem off the chilli, peel the garlic, then combine the above listed ingredients in a blender until smooth.

Although all the salsa ingredients are to be found at Waitrose, you'd best go elsewhere for the tortilla chips to accompany your salsa. Whole Foods and hippie health food stores are more apt to have palatable corn chips.

cheers, as they say here.

Call for Stories: Bride of the Golem: An Anthology of Humorous Jewish Horror

I will be editing the book "Bride of the Golem: An Anthology of Humorous Jewish Horror" and am seeking stories to include in it.

The stories can employ a new Jewish twist on a mainstream horror theme (e.g. a tale about a Hassidic vampire mohel or about the Lubbavitchers reanimating Rebbe Schneerson). Or they can reinterpret horrific elements in classical Jewish folklore like the Golem or dybbuk. Or they can venture into entirely new territory.

Stories of this genre that I like: Etgar Keret's "Quanta", Shulamit Hareven's "The Emissary", Shalom Auslander's "Prophet's Dilemma" and Nathan Englander's "Reb Kringle," to name just a few.

Requirements are the following:
1) The story should be humorous.
2) The content of the story should have some connection to Jewish culture deeper than the names of the main characters. Subtle references to Talmud, the prayerbook, Midrash are very welcome, though not required. You don't have to be Jewish to submit, but it helps if you have some prior knowledge of Jewish traditions.
3) It is preferrably unpublished, though I will consider reprints in some cases if the reprint rights are easily negotiated. I will also consider translations of stories from other languages if the rights are easily secured.
4) The length can vary from 500 words to 10,000.
5) The story should be well-written. I shouldn't have to say this.
6) The story should be forwarded to me via e-mail: gus.ginsburg40@gmail.com with the words "Bride of the Golem Submission" in the subject line. Word docs are fine, but not docx format. I prefer doublespaced, 12 point in a readable font. The document should be paginated with your name and title at the bottom of each page. The first page or cover page should include your contact information. You can include a brief bio (up to 250 words) in the body of your submission e-mail.
7) Simultaneous submissions are fine. Let me know immediately if the story is accepted elsewhere.

Here's how the process will work:
I am looking for 10-12 publishable stories by new and upcoming authors, and I will see that you are paid $500 for your story, though it may take some time for you to receive your payment as I have to get an agent and publisher on board with this project. I will also solicit 2-4 stories by better-known authors in order to make this volume a bestseller at Jewish book fairs.

Pitchapalooza

I received an e-mail from Gotham Writers about an event in the Upper East side yesterday. The authors of "The Essential Guide to Getting Your Book Published" teamed up with a pair of literary agents to hold an American-idol style contest in which people had one minute to pitch their book proposal before them, the crowd, and the rolling cameras.

I attended, for I've recently had the idea to edit a collection of thematically related short stories--Bride of the Golem--an anthology of humorous Jewish horror. However, after standing in line and entering the room it was explained that only those who just purchased the book were eligible to pitch, and not wanting to feel pressured into buying a book I might not need, I declined to do so, and instead watched the procedings with amused detachment.

Twenty-two people pitched their books. Some sounded absolutely dreadful, others, intriguing. First I'll cover the dreck, then the dazzling, the swine before the pearls.

Of the 22, three had already self-published their books. Do they really think a different publisher will republish their works?

Also, three of the 22 were novels involving presidential assassination attempts, though, thankfully, not of our current president. One monotone mumbler described his scenario--a female is elected president, then women's suffrage is repealed, then a civil war of sorts, and in his words, the book becomes like Orwell's 1984 meets Cormack McCarthy's The Road. One of the three assassination novels might actually work, depending on the quality of the writing--it is about a Puerto Rican man who attempts to bump off President Truman.

One of the self-published geniuses is a caucasian who works as a school counselor. He's compiled quotes and pearls of wisdom from African-Americans from Frederick Douglass to President Obama, in a collection titled African-American Core Values. While I don't think his project is republishable in its current format, I have to laud his efforts to reach our city's youth and inspire them.

Self-help and enlightenment books made up three of the 22 proposals. One is a 19-volume Path to Peace by a space cadet who was not ready to take the microphone when her turn arrived, so she went later. Another proposal is "Goddess Entrepreneur", a guide to nonaggressive success using your feminine essence. The author is a transformational life coach. The third of this type was "Coincidentally Charmed" an inspirational autobiography, a mystical journey of discovery of her blessed life, which has been filled with good fortune. Good for her. Maybe her lucky streak will continue and she'll find a publisher.

A few of the proposals were memoirs of persons not so spiritually blessed, and these sounded intriguing. "The Act" is about a child of a mixed race couple (one a Swede, the other, African) growing up in northern Sweden, then moving to the U.S. where he ended up a male prostitute. He says it's a true story, and it was quite unusual and unexpected to hear a black man speaking with a Swedish accent. "Correspondence Unauthorized" is about an African-American woman convicted of a white collar crime, sent to prison, then later going homeless.

The idea which "won" the event was Verne Hoyt's "Parties Unknown", the fruit of 20 years research into his grandparents' involvement in a lynching in southern Georgia in 1930, which culminates with him visiting the victim's widow, and later serving as a pall-bearer in her funeral.

Novel ideas: 1) Voodoo Town a slipstream novel about a detective who must consult the seven African Voodoo Deities to solve a mystery. He described it as Elmore Leonard meets Anne Rice. He should add Neil Gaiman's American Gods to his "similar" list.
2) A novel about a new astrologer who solves problems. Her speech is very polished and perhaps her writing is, as well. Although the concept of pseudo-science in novels causes a knee-jerk revulsion in me, I've seen two writers use Tarot well in their stories--Jeanette Winterson in Gut Symmetries and my colleague Michelle Byington in her novel-in-progress. Michelle's character Tina uses tarot to force/reinforce her interpretation of the world both to herself and to her girlfriend, to tragi-comic effect.
3) 13 Minutes. A novel about a hedonist artist who achieves limited success and ends up on reality television.
4) A Doll House. About a late life marriage to a husband with Alzheimer's, using the construction of doll houses to keep him focused.
5) Kwame Nkrumah (not the former President of Ghana) has an African folk story about a wily hyena.
I think all of these are fine ideas if the writers have the talent to make them shine.

There was one poetry book proposal "For the Godesses", poems about women who have nurtured and inspired him. The author has never had a poem published before. And his recited sample contained nothing novel or gripping in it.

One of the best proposals, and I really hope this gets published is "A Girl's Guide to College Sports Scholarships" by one of ESPN's editors. The panel suggested that she draft a famous female athlete to write an introduction. If my spouse and I are blessed with a daughter, I hope this book is updated and reprinted frequently.